My (not so) Anonymous Life

November 30, 2009

You

Filed under: others — shitjusthappens @ 1:56 am
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You’re quite a guy. You’re half a man and half a boy, quite the best mix of both. I don’t mind about it at all. You’re just the one who fits perfect into my dreams and the hardest I try to forget you, the world just proofs me we belong together. There’s no such meaning in my life without you in it.

November 4, 2009

All About Choices

Filed under: worries — shitjusthappens @ 7:51 pm
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Well, right. Choices. They’re so many, specially on my age – 18, whoever asks. But some choices are made up in my head, but still depends on people to get real. (more…)

October 29, 2009

all i have ;

Filed under: poetry — shitjusthappens @ 12:45 am
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i was missing you you were miles away he was close to me i let him stay then i closed my eyes he almost felt the same but when the morning broke i cried out your name if id only known it would break us id done anything just to save us cause youre all i have when the world comes down on me youre the one i love and i’m begging you to see youre all youre all youre all i have you are you are the one i love youre all youre all youre all i have youve forgiven me but it doesnt change the guilt i feel when you mention his name no more innocence how to trust again wanna believe that you wont do the same and everytime we fight were getting closer i slowly die inside im scared its over cause youre all i have when the world comes down on me youre the one i love and i’m begging you to see youre all youre all youre all i have you are you are the one i love youre all youre all youre all i have your love for me was always there maybe too much for me to care now that i know i messed it up id give my all to take it back cause youre all i have when the world comes down on me youre the one i love and i’m begging you to see youre all youre all youre all i have you are you are the one i love youre all youre all YOURE ALL I HAVE +

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Now playing: All i Have- The Veronicas
via FoxyTunes

October 19, 2009

A Message Not To Be Read

Filed under: worries — shitjusthappens @ 4:09 am
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I really don’t need to say again you SHOULDN’T read this, right? Yeah, you know who you are. (more…)

October 12, 2009

My Very Deepest Secrets

Filed under: life — shitjusthappens @ 1:42 am
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You. Yeah, you, you know who you are. I suggest you don’t read this or maybe I could hurt your feelings.

(more…)

August 5, 2009

Guys

Filed under: worries — shitjusthappens @ 11:10 pm
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Hello, dudes! Here’s something I’ve been thinking about.

A few days ago, me and some friends were talking about love, the perfect boy/girlfriend etc. Well, in my opinion, the perfect one is that who likes you just the way you are and who you like the same way. By the way, before being lovers, we should be nice friends and trust each other.

But nobody said it’s easy to find true love – and even if someone has done, it’s a lie. Some are lucky – and less than 1% of the whole world. Some keep waiting. For so long. Just like me.

I’ve already been in love. I am in love. But only once I was loved back and it’s over now. But I’m happy when I say I’ve got the best friend in the whole world, who is still far from me when talking about distance, but is so close when talking about feeling. He fights when I’m wrong, hugs me when I’m right… laughes when I’m funny. However it is, it’s always perfect. I can get mad, but it just goes away when he cames back to me.

Whatever. What I mean is that I’m not that beautiful neighter am too sexy for my shirt LOL but I’m a simple girl. A smart one. If I don’t have someone, doesn’t mean I don’t want someone, but I don’t need a lot of boys like sharks around me. Don’t want a lot of guys falling at my feet. I just wanted someone who I love loving me. That’s all I wish. No need to come in a white horse, unless he’s a prince and wants it. I just want somebody who loves me like I am, while he’s being himself.

xx

C.

July 29, 2009

Personality Crisis

Filed under: life,worries — shitjusthappens @ 12:10 am
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I gotta look like a SO problematic person. But I don’t mind, that’s none of ANYBODY’s business, then it’s still my own problems. If it matters to you, imagine it’s just another of those boring books about how to act. Or not, but the truth is things are getting a little outta place. Or am I losing myself? Don’t matter.

But I’m having a serious problem with my own personality. It’s calling me to act and fight for what I want, as I always did, but the person “me” is telling me not to do anything, just keep it on me and forget the rest. Ha, it seems easy but BELIEVE ME, it sucks when you’re fighting inside.

And just for you to know, YOU BOY, listen to me.

UNLESS FOR NOW, I’M STILL FIGHTING TO GET YOU. UNTIL I GET THAT TIRED TO ACT LIKE A FOOL (AS I’M DOING RIGHT NOW) AND GIVE UP, I’LL KEEP FIGHTING. MAYBE I’M A GOOD FRIEND, BUT THAT’S DEFINITELY NOT HALF OF WHAT I WANNA BE.
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“She was scared, unprepared, lost in the dark. Falling apart, I can survive with you by my side.”
Now playing: Demi Lovato – Two Worlds Collide
via FoxyTunes

July 25, 2009

Meaningless

Filed under: life,party — shitjusthappens @ 7:58 pm
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This is how I’m feeling. There’s no meaning in anything, I just feel tired of living. Well, not my fault, though. What’s the point in being 18 (overage and enough-aged, I’d say) if I’m old enough to clean the whole house or do some other things and I’m too young to go out at night? I could laugh if it was a joke, but it’s my life – what makes it almost a joke. Ha, I’m so funny.

Come on, I’m old enough to do whatever I wanna do. If I can’t do what I want right, it’s MY problem, MY fault, nothing to do with them. But I have already showed them (I mean, my parents) that they can trust me (they don’t know what trust means, apparently), because they know I’m the one who HATES drugs the most. For drugs I mean also those fuckin’ cigarettes that people think are so charming. Die fast and leave me alone, then.

Okay, maybe the point is alcohol. YES, MAN, I like it. But it never meant I need to drink until get drunk, as I NEVER DID. Then, what’s the matter with ME? It’s not like I’m going out to have sex with everyone who passes in front of me, eighter. I wanna get out with MY FRIENDS, who my parents know very well, who always come to visit me, who I always go to visit, who I know for ten or five years, depending on who I’m talking about. They are a little better than me, by the way HAHA I’m the rebel one lol. They can control me, right? You guys know what the word friendship means to me, and it’s too strong for me to take it away.

Well, coming back way too late shouldn’t be a problem, too. If you want to take me there and get me back, no problem, but if THAT’S the matter, you guys should let me stay until 5 am there so I could wait a little more until 6 o’clock to get my bus and come home around 7 am. But it’s always difficult to solve some problem if somebody doesn’t want them to be solved.

You know what? It’s my life, don’t you forget.

xxx

May 17, 2009

Romance?

Filed under: life — shitjusthappens @ 11:46 pm
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I always dreamed my life was going to be a fairytale. The first thing I learnt when I was 13: it will never happen. But I dreamed for so long and I still did this. Now, I’m 18 and I guess I lost a (big) part of my life dreaming way too much.

Well, now I’m old enough to say I want to stop it. I’m sick of it, I’m done. I want to live life and let myself know new things and new people. I’m open to my own life, as I wasn’t before.

Let the seasons begin.

May 8, 2009

Grandma

Filed under: life,worries — shitjusthappens @ 6:08 pm
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I’m sick of this. I’m sick of this all. I may be sounded like riot now, but I don’t care. I just need to have the guts to say all I’m thinking and specially all I’m feeling.

Why all the things are happening at the same time to me? It feels like wasn’t way too much the vestibular exams in the end (and in the middle) of the year and also my family acting like a crap – day by day, worst. It feels like wasn’t way too much I had been caught and I’d been feeling what I’m feeling, because it doesn’t matter. I think I could stand it, I really could – with a little help from my friends, which I’ve been getting more and more, which is making me stronger and able to still living. But then comes my grandma and her fucking diabetes.Grandma has already lost one of her toes and she’s going to lose another – I know it. I studied it. I’m watching it happen. Fortunately, she won’t have to lose her whole foot – I hope not too soon, anyway. She’s 81 and, since she was born, the doctors told her mom she wasn’t going to survive so long. But she is. She watched her husband, my granpa, die, and she watched my grandparents, my dad’s parents, die – even when they were younger than her and she always asked them to take care of me and my brother. I know she’s strong, but I’m afraid I’ll soon lose her. I’m sure someday I’ll do and it came to me as soon as I could try to get my reason back.

I’m scared. I’m scared of losing the only person who is beside me all the time. I’m afraid of losing the woman I most love in this annoying and non-sense life. I’m scared of giving all up without her support and I hope you all, please, don’t let me do it. I’ll do whatever I dreamed and whatever I want – cheers to her.

I love you, old and wonderful woman. I love you, best friend. I love you, grandma.

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