My (not so) Anonymous Life

November 30, 2009

You

Filed under: others — shitjusthappens @ 1:56 am
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You’re quite a guy. You’re half a man and half a boy, quite the best mix of both. I don’t mind about it at all. You’re just the one who fits perfect into my dreams and the hardest I try to forget you, the world just proofs me we belong together. There’s no such meaning in my life without you in it.

November 17, 2009

All About A Choice… Cause I’ve Made Mine.

Filed under: life — shitjusthappens @ 4:47 pm
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Not gonna tell you not to read this. You should, you really do.

I tried, I swear I tried the hardest to get to you. I tried to figure out what would be the girl of your dreams like but no, I’m not gonna change. I’m still myself, maybe even more myself than never, I’ve got this point. And I’m proud – for me. You should be too.

I don’t know how much you know or how much you think you know about my feelings. Even when I had told you everything I ever felt, you never made it easier. You never showed me you really knew, what makes me feel like a stupid jerk who used all of her courage for nothing. Yeah, courage, I needed a lot of that.

But I’m writing because I give up. I tried before and maybe I won’t get that right now. But we are way too different. Things we talked about yesterday, things you said which I don’t believe in. Maybe that’s the point. I know it doesn’t work. Even if you believe a year is enough to forget someone who’s far… I know it isn’t. I’ve tried this before. Here’s the tip: it REALLY NEVER WORKS, just make it worse. Until you find another one or you get so sick of waiting for true love you give up everything about your heart and goes back to that cold person you were before. And I really wish I can go back for that.

Thanks for the memories. The memories that have been hurting me for over a year.

You make me cry, you make me insane, you make me different. But not anymore.

 

I guess this is the end.

November 3, 2009

Someday

Filed under: others — shitjusthappens @ 1:39 am
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As the sun goes down, we will be together: we’ll lay under the moonlight and watch its shadows during the whole night, counting all the stars up there and then, when the morning starts, you’ll kiss me and I’ll know I’ll be forever yours.

 

My hopes are way too high you could never ever imagine.

October 19, 2009

A Message Not To Be Read

Filed under: worries — shitjusthappens @ 4:09 am
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I really don’t need to say again you SHOULDN’T read this, right? Yeah, you know who you are. (more…)

October 12, 2009

My Very Deepest Secrets

Filed under: life — shitjusthappens @ 1:42 am
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You. Yeah, you, you know who you are. I suggest you don’t read this or maybe I could hurt your feelings.

(more…)

August 5, 2009

Guys

Filed under: worries — shitjusthappens @ 11:10 pm
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Hello, dudes! Here’s something I’ve been thinking about.

A few days ago, me and some friends were talking about love, the perfect boy/girlfriend etc. Well, in my opinion, the perfect one is that who likes you just the way you are and who you like the same way. By the way, before being lovers, we should be nice friends and trust each other.

But nobody said it’s easy to find true love – and even if someone has done, it’s a lie. Some are lucky – and less than 1% of the whole world. Some keep waiting. For so long. Just like me.

I’ve already been in love. I am in love. But only once I was loved back and it’s over now. But I’m happy when I say I’ve got the best friend in the whole world, who is still far from me when talking about distance, but is so close when talking about feeling. He fights when I’m wrong, hugs me when I’m right… laughes when I’m funny. However it is, it’s always perfect. I can get mad, but it just goes away when he cames back to me.

Whatever. What I mean is that I’m not that beautiful neighter am too sexy for my shirt LOL but I’m a simple girl. A smart one. If I don’t have someone, doesn’t mean I don’t want someone, but I don’t need a lot of boys like sharks around me. Don’t want a lot of guys falling at my feet. I just wanted someone who I love loving me. That’s all I wish. No need to come in a white horse, unless he’s a prince and wants it. I just want somebody who loves me like I am, while he’s being himself.

xx

C.

July 29, 2009

Personality Crisis

Filed under: life,worries — shitjusthappens @ 12:10 am
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I gotta look like a SO problematic person. But I don’t mind, that’s none of ANYBODY’s business, then it’s still my own problems. If it matters to you, imagine it’s just another of those boring books about how to act. Or not, but the truth is things are getting a little outta place. Or am I losing myself? Don’t matter.

But I’m having a serious problem with my own personality. It’s calling me to act and fight for what I want, as I always did, but the person “me” is telling me not to do anything, just keep it on me and forget the rest. Ha, it seems easy but BELIEVE ME, it sucks when you’re fighting inside.

And just for you to know, YOU BOY, listen to me.

UNLESS FOR NOW, I’M STILL FIGHTING TO GET YOU. UNTIL I GET THAT TIRED TO ACT LIKE A FOOL (AS I’M DOING RIGHT NOW) AND GIVE UP, I’LL KEEP FIGHTING. MAYBE I’M A GOOD FRIEND, BUT THAT’S DEFINITELY NOT HALF OF WHAT I WANNA BE.
—————-

“She was scared, unprepared, lost in the dark. Falling apart, I can survive with you by my side.”
Now playing: Demi Lovato – Two Worlds Collide
via FoxyTunes

July 25, 2009

Meaningless

Filed under: life,party — shitjusthappens @ 7:58 pm
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This is how I’m feeling. There’s no meaning in anything, I just feel tired of living. Well, not my fault, though. What’s the point in being 18 (overage and enough-aged, I’d say) if I’m old enough to clean the whole house or do some other things and I’m too young to go out at night? I could laugh if it was a joke, but it’s my life – what makes it almost a joke. Ha, I’m so funny.

Come on, I’m old enough to do whatever I wanna do. If I can’t do what I want right, it’s MY problem, MY fault, nothing to do with them. But I have already showed them (I mean, my parents) that they can trust me (they don’t know what trust means, apparently), because they know I’m the one who HATES drugs the most. For drugs I mean also those fuckin’ cigarettes that people think are so charming. Die fast and leave me alone, then.

Okay, maybe the point is alcohol. YES, MAN, I like it. But it never meant I need to drink until get drunk, as I NEVER DID. Then, what’s the matter with ME? It’s not like I’m going out to have sex with everyone who passes in front of me, eighter. I wanna get out with MY FRIENDS, who my parents know very well, who always come to visit me, who I always go to visit, who I know for ten or five years, depending on who I’m talking about. They are a little better than me, by the way HAHA I’m the rebel one lol. They can control me, right? You guys know what the word friendship means to me, and it’s too strong for me to take it away.

Well, coming back way too late shouldn’t be a problem, too. If you want to take me there and get me back, no problem, but if THAT’S the matter, you guys should let me stay until 5 am there so I could wait a little more until 6 o’clock to get my bus and come home around 7 am. But it’s always difficult to solve some problem if somebody doesn’t want them to be solved.

You know what? It’s my life, don’t you forget.

xxx

July 24, 2009

That’s the way it is.

Filed under: life — shitjusthappens @ 1:40 am
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Not that the whole world knows me or knows my blog, but you may have found out I was absent. Yeah, I really was, and that’s because my life kinda changed a little fast.

Some months ago, I told you about my grandma and how she was important to me. Well, guys, she died, and it was a month ago. I know she was old (just turned 81), but it was suddenly. I was not expecting she could go to the hospital, but when she did… I was expecting the worst. Not expecting, don’t get me wrong, but I knew. And then my whole world seemed not to seem anything. She was my light, my life, my example.

Anyway. She died one week before my tests for college – “vestibular” (Brazilian exams for college). I confess I’m not used to study that much, but that week I got some strenght inside of me that made me study a lot. I gave my all, I did the hardest… and I was so good, but I couldn’t get it. Not a big problem if it wasn’t a little… hm, unfair. I can’t do anything about it but accept, so… that’s it. Let’s keep studying for the end of the year. Wish me good luck.

By the way, thanks for the support, everytime. I don’t even know you, guys, but you are good friends (:

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May 27, 2009

Bitter

Filed under: life — shitjusthappens @ 4:16 am
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I had a bitter week. I mean, the last one. But this one NOTHING can make it bad. Anyway, I’m talk about bitterness.

Some years ago, I used to be so bitter. I was a cold person until something happen to change it.

I knew a guy at the Internet and we become friends. Nice friends. Close friends. Closer friends. The closest ones. And I kinda fell in love, but my “fall in love” was a lot different those days than it’s today – thanks to him.

I was 13. He fell in love and asked me to be his girlfriend. I agreed, but I wasn’t THAT into him. He used to do anything so it could work out – but I didn’t even try much. I was happy to say ‘I have a boyfriend!’, but I didn’t care much. But nothing is always a bed of roses, so he should have been tired of my indifference so he broke up. Then, I felt bad a lot. It changed myself.

I started to care more about people who I love. I started to be a lot worried if they were okay. I started to love that guy in a different way, a stronger way. I really loved him after losing him. We got together again, but it was never the same: I started to care and he didn’t anymore. So it wasn’t working out again and we broke up. Forever. But we’re still best friends.

And I changed a lot because of this special fact in my life. It changed who I was and now I’m a better person – but sometimes it hurts me because now I try to trust everybody, even when I have a great chance to fail.

But you know what? I LOVE who I am and who wants to love me needs to love exactly this person.

Have a great week, guys, I’m sure mine is going to be.

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