My (not so) Anonymous Life

August 10, 2009

It’s a warning

Filed under: Uncategorized — shitjusthappens @ 4:31 am
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If you have EVER liked this friendship, I suggest you to accept when I make my choices, ‘coz my life includes several things. You know you’re a part of them – a great part of it, like a delightful piece of cake with a cherry on top -, but there are a lot of people who are a part of it too. I know I’m obstinate and way too proud, but I’m proud to say I always know when I’m wrong and I admit it. But I’ve already done it, even not wrong. I know how to do it to fix something, but it didn’t work and I’m not doing it again. Not again. Not anymore.

I’ve changed. So much has changed. Things around me have done and so have I.

I’m sorry, but it’s completely your choice. Cannot help.

May 20, 2009

Betrayed

Filed under: life,poetry — shitjusthappens @ 3:48 pm
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Betrayed – as I’ve been:
I’m lost and I can’t seem
To see why it’s happening;
Couldn’t see it changing.

Lost in tragedy and in vain,
Can’t feel nothing but the pain
That means to suck all the good memories
We had such a nice stories.

Now I do nothing but I cry
And I want to stop and I still try
But nothing’s as worst as this:
I’ve been betrayed and it is

So much more than I can take,
So I decided it to break.
Don’t mind about cynicism
Neighter about your me-ism:

I’m going to forget ‘us’
And stay beside who I can trust.
No more betrayals, no more tears,
I won’t trust anymore, so I won’t fear.

—————-
Now playing: Adele – Daydreamer
via FoxyTunes

May 3, 2009

Life (as it goes)

Filed under: life,party — shitjusthappens @ 2:03 am
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Right, satuday night and here I am: home, watching series. You should be asking yourself why a normal (?) 18 year-olded-girl is at home if she has friends and free time, maybe. That’s what I’m telling you.

Yesterday was  a holiday in Brazil, the Work Day. I didn’t have classes so I was at the Internet talking with my friends in a conference when one of them told me she was going out. It was almost 9 p.m. Usually, she goes with three of our common friends, but only one was going there and she called me to join them. I would love to, but I was pretty sure mother wouldn’t let me to go out at 10 p.m. But I tried – and I got that.

It was 10 p.m. when I got the place – exactly as the same moment she did. When we were going in, our friend got there. So, we went in the place together and got a table for us. We started talking and enjoy the music – most of them, classic rock – so the boy offerred we girls a beer. I’m not used to drink beer – I kinda don’t like it much and prefer vodka, Martini or wine – but he told us to part it with him, so we did. Well, the beer he got for us wasn’t that bad and it was really hot there inside, so we parted three more beers during the night. I also have to say I’m used to be strong with alcohol and beer? C’mon, it’s very weak to me – what I think is pretty nice. Going back to the party, we danced rock music, watched two bands (the first one was very impressive, I’m in love with it!) and had a deep conversation which made me feel better. Actually, I’m still doing – thanks to them.

As if wasn’t so much, I had a party today. A birthday party at a chic bar. Actually, one of my very best friend’s birthday party. So you tell me: WHAT A FUCK ARE YOU DOING HOME? Ooops, my bad, you should ask my parents: mom just decided to say she didn’t know any about the party happening at that place – oh, how sweet, I’m telling her for two days and she didn’t know. I asked her some money and why would I need any money if it was going to happen in my friend’s house? And, finally, what’s the fucking matter about me drinking some beer? Okay, you may be conservative and tell me it’s not so good. I got it, maybe it isn’t, but it’s not like I’m driving myself drunking or stuff. It’s just a beer, something weak I was parting with my very best friends because it was hot and so on. And I’m telling you that: if you’re analyzing it so deep, it’s as dangerous drinking beer as drinking water with a lot of hormones, medicines and things you’ll never know you’re putting into yourself.

Anyway, the beer doesn’t matter much – I don’t think so. The point is why does she need to make everybody here mad at me for being born? Why did she make me do the worst thing ever in my opinion – lying to somebody I love? In fact I’m not lying and I know she’s gonna understand what happened, but it’s really horrible promising something and not executing it. I feel frustrated, the worst person ever. My friend can forgive me; I can’t.

It seems I can’t trust me for trusting people way too much – specially my family. I should have learnt that they always do it.

When will I trust myself without any problems?

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