My (not so) Anonymous Life

November 17, 2009

All About A Choice… Cause I’ve Made Mine.

Filed under: life — shitjusthappens @ 4:47 pm
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Not gonna tell you not to read this. You should, you really do.

I tried, I swear I tried the hardest to get to you. I tried to figure out what would be the girl of your dreams like but no, I’m not gonna change. I’m still myself, maybe even more myself than never, I’ve got this point. And I’m proud – for me. You should be too.

I don’t know how much you know or how much you think you know about my feelings. Even when I had told you everything I ever felt, you never made it easier. You never showed me you really knew, what makes me feel like a stupid jerk who used all of her courage for nothing. Yeah, courage, I needed a lot of that.

But I’m writing because I give up. I tried before and maybe I won’t get that right now. But we are way too different. Things we talked about yesterday, things you said which I don’t believe in. Maybe that’s the point. I know it doesn’t work. Even if you believe a year is enough to forget someone who’s far… I know it isn’t. I’ve tried this before. Here’s the tip: it REALLY NEVER WORKS, just make it worse. Until you find another one or you get so sick of waiting for true love you give up everything about your heart and goes back to that cold person you were before. And I really wish I can go back for that.

Thanks for the memories. The memories that have been hurting me for over a year.

You make me cry, you make me insane, you make me different. But not anymore.

 

I guess this is the end.

November 4, 2009

All About Choices

Filed under: worries — shitjusthappens @ 7:51 pm
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Well, right. Choices. They’re so many, specially on my age – 18, whoever asks. But some choices are made up in my head, but still depends on people to get real. (more…)

October 29, 2009

all i have ;

Filed under: poetry — shitjusthappens @ 12:45 am
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i was missing you you were miles away he was close to me i let him stay then i closed my eyes he almost felt the same but when the morning broke i cried out your name if id only known it would break us id done anything just to save us cause youre all i have when the world comes down on me youre the one i love and i’m begging you to see youre all youre all youre all i have you are you are the one i love youre all youre all youre all i have youve forgiven me but it doesnt change the guilt i feel when you mention his name no more innocence how to trust again wanna believe that you wont do the same and everytime we fight were getting closer i slowly die inside im scared its over cause youre all i have when the world comes down on me youre the one i love and i’m begging you to see youre all youre all youre all i have you are you are the one i love youre all youre all youre all i have your love for me was always there maybe too much for me to care now that i know i messed it up id give my all to take it back cause youre all i have when the world comes down on me youre the one i love and i’m begging you to see youre all youre all youre all i have you are you are the one i love youre all youre all YOURE ALL I HAVE +

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Now playing: All i Have- The Veronicas
via FoxyTunes

October 19, 2009

A Message Not To Be Read

Filed under: worries — shitjusthappens @ 4:09 am
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I really don’t need to say again you SHOULDN’T read this, right? Yeah, you know who you are. (more…)

October 12, 2009

My Very Deepest Secrets

Filed under: life — shitjusthappens @ 1:42 am
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You. Yeah, you, you know who you are. I suggest you don’t read this or maybe I could hurt your feelings.

(more…)

August 10, 2009

It’s a warning

Filed under: Uncategorized — shitjusthappens @ 4:31 am
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If you have EVER liked this friendship, I suggest you to accept when I make my choices, ‘coz my life includes several things. You know you’re a part of them – a great part of it, like a delightful piece of cake with a cherry on top -, but there are a lot of people who are a part of it too. I know I’m obstinate and way too proud, but I’m proud to say I always know when I’m wrong and I admit it. But I’ve already done it, even not wrong. I know how to do it to fix something, but it didn’t work and I’m not doing it again. Not again. Not anymore.

I’ve changed. So much has changed. Things around me have done and so have I.

I’m sorry, but it’s completely your choice. Cannot help.

August 5, 2009

Guys

Filed under: worries — shitjusthappens @ 11:10 pm
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Hello, dudes! Here’s something I’ve been thinking about.

A few days ago, me and some friends were talking about love, the perfect boy/girlfriend etc. Well, in my opinion, the perfect one is that who likes you just the way you are and who you like the same way. By the way, before being lovers, we should be nice friends and trust each other.

But nobody said it’s easy to find true love – and even if someone has done, it’s a lie. Some are lucky – and less than 1% of the whole world. Some keep waiting. For so long. Just like me.

I’ve already been in love. I am in love. But only once I was loved back and it’s over now. But I’m happy when I say I’ve got the best friend in the whole world, who is still far from me when talking about distance, but is so close when talking about feeling. He fights when I’m wrong, hugs me when I’m right… laughes when I’m funny. However it is, it’s always perfect. I can get mad, but it just goes away when he cames back to me.

Whatever. What I mean is that I’m not that beautiful neighter am too sexy for my shirt LOL but I’m a simple girl. A smart one. If I don’t have someone, doesn’t mean I don’t want someone, but I don’t need a lot of boys like sharks around me. Don’t want a lot of guys falling at my feet. I just wanted someone who I love loving me. That’s all I wish. No need to come in a white horse, unless he’s a prince and wants it. I just want somebody who loves me like I am, while he’s being himself.

xx

C.

July 29, 2009

Personality Crisis

Filed under: life,worries — shitjusthappens @ 12:10 am
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I gotta look like a SO problematic person. But I don’t mind, that’s none of ANYBODY’s business, then it’s still my own problems. If it matters to you, imagine it’s just another of those boring books about how to act. Or not, but the truth is things are getting a little outta place. Or am I losing myself? Don’t matter.

But I’m having a serious problem with my own personality. It’s calling me to act and fight for what I want, as I always did, but the person “me” is telling me not to do anything, just keep it on me and forget the rest. Ha, it seems easy but BELIEVE ME, it sucks when you’re fighting inside.

And just for you to know, YOU BOY, listen to me.

UNLESS FOR NOW, I’M STILL FIGHTING TO GET YOU. UNTIL I GET THAT TIRED TO ACT LIKE A FOOL (AS I’M DOING RIGHT NOW) AND GIVE UP, I’LL KEEP FIGHTING. MAYBE I’M A GOOD FRIEND, BUT THAT’S DEFINITELY NOT HALF OF WHAT I WANNA BE.
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“She was scared, unprepared, lost in the dark. Falling apart, I can survive with you by my side.”
Now playing: Demi Lovato – Two Worlds Collide
via FoxyTunes

July 24, 2009

That’s the way it is.

Filed under: life — shitjusthappens @ 1:40 am
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Not that the whole world knows me or knows my blog, but you may have found out I was absent. Yeah, I really was, and that’s because my life kinda changed a little fast.

Some months ago, I told you about my grandma and how she was important to me. Well, guys, she died, and it was a month ago. I know she was old (just turned 81), but it was suddenly. I was not expecting she could go to the hospital, but when she did… I was expecting the worst. Not expecting, don’t get me wrong, but I knew. And then my whole world seemed not to seem anything. She was my light, my life, my example.

Anyway. She died one week before my tests for college – “vestibular” (Brazilian exams for college). I confess I’m not used to study that much, but that week I got some strenght inside of me that made me study a lot. I gave my all, I did the hardest… and I was so good, but I couldn’t get it. Not a big problem if it wasn’t a little… hm, unfair. I can’t do anything about it but accept, so… that’s it. Let’s keep studying for the end of the year. Wish me good luck.

By the way, thanks for the support, everytime. I don’t even know you, guys, but you are good friends (:

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