My (not so) Anonymous Life

May 8, 2009

Grandma

Filed under: life,worries — shitjusthappens @ 6:08 pm
Tags: , , , , , ,

I’m sick of this. I’m sick of this all. I may be sounded like riot now, but I don’t care. I just need to have the guts to say all I’m thinking and specially all I’m feeling.

Why all the things are happening at the same time to me? It feels like wasn’t way too much the vestibular exams in the end (and in the middle) of the year and also my family acting like a crap – day by day, worst. It feels like wasn’t way too much I had been caught and I’d been feeling what I’m feeling, because it doesn’t matter. I think I could stand it, I really could – with a little help from my friends, which I’ve been getting more and more, which is making me stronger and able to still living. But then comes my grandma and her fucking diabetes.Grandma has already lost one of her toes and she’s going to lose another – I know it. I studied it. I’m watching it happen. Fortunately, she won’t have to lose her whole foot – I hope not too soon, anyway. She’s 81 and, since she was born, the doctors told her mom she wasn’t going to survive so long. But she is. She watched her husband, my granpa, die, and she watched my grandparents, my dad’s parents, die – even when they were younger than her and she always asked them to take care of me and my brother. I know she’s strong, but I’m afraid I’ll soon lose her. I’m sure someday I’ll do and it came to me as soon as I could try to get my reason back.

I’m scared. I’m scared of losing the only person who is beside me all the time. I’m afraid of losing the woman I most love in this annoying and non-sense life. I’m scared of giving all up without her support and I hope you all, please, don’t let me do it. I’ll do whatever I dreamed and whatever I want – cheers to her.

I love you, old and wonderful woman. I love you, best friend. I love you, grandma.

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1 Comment »

  1. […] months ago, I told you about my grandma and how she was important to me. Well, guys, she died, and it was a month ago. I know she was old […]

    Pingback by That’s the way it is. « My (not so) Anonymous Life — July 24, 2009 @ 1:40 am | Reply


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